I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
