I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize
