I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Small penises have feelings too.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
