She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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