Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
