if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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