Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
