doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
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