I look better un-naked...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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