it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I would fuck him just for his dog
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
