so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
