sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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