Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Randomize
