Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
