This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
