i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
