Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
