My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
