I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I don't think brook has ever known best
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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