fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize