apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
