you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
