So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize