butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
