At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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