Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
