if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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