he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
