So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
