I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
babies were throwing up all over the place
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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