I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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