The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
