Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
