Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
