It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
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My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
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Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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