Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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