So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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