So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
