So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
