Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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