You're so nebulous sometimes
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
