Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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