drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
