You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
