I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
do herpes really smell.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I want to be your penis for a week.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
