Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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