question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
