me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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