I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
