do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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