I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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