Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
