What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
