I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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