it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
