Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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