The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
