Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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