you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Randomize
