Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
