My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.