I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
