I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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