Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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